Chimi Lhakhang in Punakha in the pale light of a summer evening is a thing of otherworldly beauty. Along the quiet turquoise-green Punatsangchhu, past the roiling Toebi Rongchhu, there are nyes (sacred religious sites). Alas, nature has reclaimed these sites entirely.
Figure 1: Chimi Lhakhang
A yogi, scantily clad and heavily bearded, closed his eyes and shot a random arrow from Yamdrok in Tibet to see where it would land. And there he would go, wherever his shaft lands, straying along to find his destiny.
But then, there were women and wine of the finest quality to be relished non-stop. The highly realized and celebrated saint, born of the noble Gya clan, who had long parted with a sense of shame and puerility of the age, put off the plan to go after his wayward arrow for a while, and went to bed.
Imprints of fish on the rock
That was some 500 years ago from today.
As the morning sun rose from behind the snow-clad mountains, yellow as the tint of pure gold, the yogi jumped out of the bed and disappeared. From Phari in Tibet to Paro in Bhutan, he walked, looking for the arrow.
In Toep Chandhana in Punakha, Bumo Pelzang Buthri, on whose doorstep the Yogi’s wayward arrow landed, there was an unusual commotion, a hue, and a cry. By then, Lama Drukpa Kunley had arrived at Paro, looking for the arrow he let loose from Yamdrok, subduing bloodthirsty fiends and man-eating demons along the way.
Figure 2: Toep Chandhana Lhakhang
It was a bright day when he arrived at Bumo Pelzang Buthri’s at Toep Chandana. He took out his massive member and peed on the wall. The hugeness of his fire-spitting wisdom thunderbolt had the children stunned with utter shock.
And then the yogi gazed up and made to the upper chamber of the house. The mark that his arrow had left on the wooden stairs to the third floor was wide and fresh. Once inside, he caught hold of Bumo Pelzang Buthri by the neck on the floor, his pants down and her skirt all up. Toep Tshewang, Bumo Pelzang Buthri’s husband, rushed forth with a sword in his hand. Before long, however, Drukpa Kunley had the sword by his right hand and twisted it into a knot.
Holding the knotted sword still and ramming the young and beautiful Pelzang Buthri all the while hard on the floor of Toep Tshewang’s altar, pronounced the crazy yogi from Ralung of the Gya clan thusly:
Toep Tsewang of Wang Silung loves truth
And I his sexy and bewitching wife
And here, the lovers meet for truth and lust
Toep Tshewang stood there for a good while aghast, and then turned away, feeling helpless and utterly ashamed. Knowing that the yogi was no ordinary monk, Toep Tshewang surrendered his young wife to the crazy yogi immediately and his soul to dharma eternally.
Wooden stairs on which Drukpa Kunley’s arrow landed
From that love between the crazy yogi and Bumo Pelzang Buthri was born Sangdak Gartoen, great-grandfather of fourth Druk Desi Gyalsey Tenzin Rabgay.
Thus, the legend of one of the greatest Drukpa yogis spread throughout Bhutan. The people of the southern country of Mon were then terrorized by man-eating demons. Bringing the demoness of Dochula down to where Chimi Lhakhang stands today, Lama Drukpa Kunley had her subdued for eternity under a black chorten.
But the crazy yogi needed more young girls and wine. He took myriad consorts in Bhutan – Zhungzi Ashi Gyenzo, Pache Namkha Dem, Babi Bum Chenzom, Goentoe Samey Andzo, and Bumo Pelzang Buthri.
However, jealously sparked between women and demoness alike, because of Lama Drukpa Kunley’s massive fire-spitting wisdom thunderbolt. Aum Choekim, a demoness near Chimi lhakhang, turn herself to a fearsome frame and attacked the lama when he was coming down the small trail along the Teobi Rongchu. She was all nude, her hair down in Punatsangchu, her left leg on the ridge where Chimi lhakhang is today, and the other on the ridge opposite.
“Is it your ignorance that brought you here, or it is your death that you are seeking?” shouted Aum Choekim, lips of her massive dreadlocked vagina flapping in the air. Drukpa Kunley had his fire-spitting wisdom thunderbolt by his right and caught Aum Choekim by his left hand and subdued her to eternal silence.
Now covered with thick overgrowth, the old highway that connected Wangdue to Punakha has to be bushwhacked to find a path. It was this path that the crazy yogi Drukpa Kunley used to hunt the demons along the Punatsangchhu. And along this forgotten trail are many nyes related to Lama Drukpa Kunley.
First, there is uzha (hat) under a tree. It is massive. One is left to wonder what kind of a giant the yogi was. And, of course, the imprints of his fire-spitting wisdom thunderbolt, here and there. They are so huge even municipal corporations of this day have not been able to build sewers of that size.
Statue of Aum Choekim in Chimi Lhakhang
As Aum Choekim turned to a fish and disappeared into Punatsangchhu, Drukpa Kunley caught her by the tail and slammed her onto a giant rock. The imprint of the fish is there, curved deep and vivid. And there is Drukpa Kunley’s pot, a hole in a rock. When a stone is thrown into it, there is a metallic sound.
There is the rock on which Lama Drukpa Kunley rested in pain, pointing his fire-spitting wisdom thunderbolt to Tsho Bangko in Punatsangchhu, from where he expected a demoness to come to attack him. Drukpa Kunley had a huge penis indeed.
Phalluses galore on the walls en route to Chimi Lhakhang
But the demoness did not turn up. Drukpa Kunley sent a message to Draphu Martika in Nepal where Guru Rinpoche was giving the blessing of long life. He asked Guru to send a tshechu (holy water of long life). Guru hurled the water from Martika.
There, unseen during summer the water level rises but seen during winter is tshechu pouring down from rock project in the shape of a penis and a vagina.
From here, Drukpa Kunley went towards Samdingkha, where he has left him fingerprints and a golden urn, among others.
When his brother Nawang Chogyel left for Tibet, Drukpa Kunley stayed back.
“You go ahead. Good wine and pretty asses of Bhutanese women are holding me back. We’ll meet again soon,” said Drukpa Kunley.
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